Sleeping through the night

Levi slept 8 hours last night. Woo-hoo! He went to bed at 8:30 and woke up at 4:30; he's well on his way to sleeping through the night, and I thought I'd share my baby sleeping tips. A friend from church is expecting her first baby, and she told me that in lieu of a gift, she'd like me to teach her how to get her baby to sleep at night. If you know someone who is struggling with this, feel free to pass this on to them.

I learned the hard way with Spencer. At 13 months of age, he was still waking up every night to come to bed with us, even though I'd stopped nursing him. I did everything wrong, and it was much harder to correct my mistakes at that age. Then I got the book Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep by Jodi A. Mindell; I highly recommend this book! It totally helped, but it took a long time. So when I had Tyler I followed the book's instructions starting at 6 weeks, and the difference was amazing. It was much easier with a newborn than with a big kid, standing and wailing in his crib.

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The way to help babies sleep through the night is to teach them to put themselves to sleep. You do this by having a specific bedtime routine, and doing it the same way at the same time every night. For a newborn, this means one last feeding, diaper change and jammies, wrapping them up in a blanket, giving them a binky, and putting them in their bed awake (that is the first critical point). When I put Levi down he cries for a few minutes, but then he calms down and lies there wide awake for a few minutes before falling sleep. After I feed him during the night I put him right back in his bed (that is the next critical point). DO NOT keep them in your bed. Ever. Some moms out there feel it is so sweet to snuggle with their little baby all night, but it is a mistake and will cause major sleep problems down the road. Snuggle with them all day if you'd like, but not at night. Nighttime is for sleeping. You will be so much happier to snuggle with that baby in the morning after a good night's sleep:

Once your baby has had that initial sleep training, he will gradually sleep for longer stretches at night and wake up less often to eat. By the time he reaches approximately 12 lbs he will not need to eat during the night at all. You will start adding to the bedtime routine, such as brushing teeth, reading books, singing songs, saying prayers. This will help them settle down for bed and learn that going to sleep is the natural next step in the process. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you're consistent. And if someone else is putting them to bed, tell them to do the exact same routine. If you are on vacation or staying somewhere new, keep your routine the same as much as possible. In fact it's more important than ever because they need familiarity.

Once your baby is old enough to go all night without eating, usually around 2 months, it is imperative that you move him out of your room (third critical point). You can do it earlier if you want to, but I like to start out with a bassinet right next to my bed so I can just reach over to pick him up in the middle of the night. I find that babies often revert around 3 months or so and start waking up more often. This seems to be habit and has nothing to do with needing more nutrition. If this happens you can go to them, wrap them back up, give them the binky, say soothing words, then leave. If they continue to cry, close the door and let them cry. Since they have an established bedtime routine and know how to put themselves to sleep, they will quickly learn to do it again.

So what if you have done things all wrong and your baby is still waking up to eat way past 12 pounds? Don't worry - you can still train them. It will just take a little longer. Instead of crying for a few minutes, they may scream for an hour before sheer exhaustion overcomes them. Instead of taking a couple days of training it could take a week or two. But don't let that keep you from doing it. Putting it off only makes it harder. Some say, "I can't just let my baby cry!" It's not just letting them cry - it is teaching them an essential skill. You can check on them every 5 minutes to let them know you're still there. Just don't pick them up. Lay them back down, rub their tummy, give them their binky, say soothing things, like, "It's okay, mommy loves you, go to sleep." Then leave again. You may lose sleep in the short run, but it will be worth it for everyone in the long run. You just have to trust me.


If someone comes to me for help, it never fails that they are not doing one or more of my 3 critical points. Let us review:

1. Put baby to bed awake. Do not nurse/rock/hold them to sleep. If they fall asleep during that last feeding (as they often do when they're little), wake them back up before putting them to bed.
2. Put baby to sleep in his own bed after each feeding. Do not have him sleep with you in your bed.
3. Move baby's crib out of your room around 2 months. If you have limited space and you don't want them to wake up a sibling, you may need to get creative. Spencer slept in the laundry room when we lived with my parents. Dallin slept in the dining room when we lived in our condo.